While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
