Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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