life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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