How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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