the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize