Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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