i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
