how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
