i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
