I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
