So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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