you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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