Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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