you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do herpes really smell.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
