Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
