There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
