If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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