it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
