He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
