remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
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my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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