i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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