Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't just leave with hair like that
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
