i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
