I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
