Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize