In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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