Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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