Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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