I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
