I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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