im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
