eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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