it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I supernannyed him into submission
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
