She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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