have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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