Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
