Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
