I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
