is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
