rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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