your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
