I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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