i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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