when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize