Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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