I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
