he was CRYING into my vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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