I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
