trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
