The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
