real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Porn is love you can see.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
