Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
