pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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