What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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