Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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