i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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