I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
